Monday, October 24, 2011

Slowly but Surely

One of my BIG bucketlist items has been to run a marathon. I've always wanted to... Call it rebelling against my mom who swears that running "shakes up your girl parts" (true story... just ask all of my PE coaches). Or, call it a darn good excuse to get back into shape. Either way, it's a goal that I want to reach... for me.

While a marathon is a lonnnng road away, I am confident that it will be worth it. Being able to say "I did it!" when I began being the girl who had never having run before (another true story) I think defines ultimate health [in my book, anyways]. Plus, it's something that needs to be done. Well, maybe not a marathon, but putting myself... and my health.. back on the list of things that matter is overdue.

I wouldn't say it hasn't been worth it, because helping Cay these last few years totally has been. However, reaching the point of Pre-diabetes really was a smack in the face. I think all the stress eating, therapy trips, doctor visits, studying, hospital stays, and researching this thing called Autism/Aspergers finally caught up to me.  I also started watching my health decline in other facets, including a breast cancer scare (yes, at the age of 23!) and thyroid/hormonal issues. Watching people I care about get sick has also made me realize how important it is to be strong for Cay in more than just the maternal/emotional way.

So far running has been a good thing. It is an amazing stress relief that I've come to find myself craving. The new job isn't an easy one (I teach high school sped), nor is single parenthood to my little man. Stress relief is definitely something that I need.

I would be lying to say that it doesn't hurt watching my body transform, either. Thus far, I've lost 20 lbs that I really didn't need hanging around. Here is a current pic for those who want to be nosy... I am so on the nosy list typically, so I get it! ;)

 Here I am before I started running. July 2011. And, yes, this was the point where I refused to take full body pictures of myself. I knew things needed to change, to say the least, but also was struggling with where to go because of all of the other health issues that were starting up:

I still have about 20 more pounds to go until my goal weight, but I'm healthy and happy. My energy is back; I feel alive again. I finally know that the part of me that froze my life when Cay started to regress with his Autism is no longer around. The balance of finding health for both myself and for Cay.... such a fine balance, true.. is finally looking up and I understand what was going on. I'm pretty sure any mom of a child with a disability gets it. Everyone else, just excuse my cookyness. =)

And, finally, here is a picture of my friend (co-teacher, as well!) and I at our first, but definitely not last, 5k. It was a goal of mine for this Fall. While I won't tell you how sore I was after the fact, I'm definitely still proud that I lived through 3.1 miles. Oh, and I can proudly say that I be my PR. ((It was rather easy, since it was a first for me!)) I'll take what I can right now....

So there we have it. A long-term goal that I'm working slowly towards! Horray for finally making time for me...

Saturday, October 15, 2011

My Current Bucketlist... and a new blog to go with it

I seriously can't believe I've decided to make another blog. After my old blog, Modern Mom Redefined, started to kind of consume a lot of my time and I began teaching, I decided to shut it down. I loved that little baby of mine. It was so rewarding watching it grow, gaining steady followers who became blog friends, scoring free products, getting a sponsor... it became my own little energy high. However, as fun as it was, there is a line where personal is personal (thus, should stay that way). Finding the balance of not crossing over it proved to be a challenge. And, let's face it, having a student read about my personal life isn't really something I'm too into.

Which leads me to this new little baby. I assure you, returning followers, that the posts are not going to be as frequent or "deep". My personal thoughts are, for the most part, going to remain in the noggin. However, life is throwing a bunch of exciting new-ness at me, and how do I NOT blog about it? Right!?

So here we go: Balancing the Bucket. It would be a lie for me to state that I don't have a bucketlist that I'm eagerly crossing items off of... finally. And it would be even more of a lie to say that I've been following it for the last five years. Oh, the way joy of Autism. I will literally do anything for that boy (my son), yet a combination of Autism with single parenthood kind of puts all of your own personal goals on hold. But, not anymore. Freezing my life, and who I am, isn't a way of living. Nor is it one that I want my little guy to mimic. I've finally realized that I want him to chase his dreams, so why shouldn't I be following mine? It doesn't make me bad mom to follow my heart while seeking his. It's all about the balance. Finding the balance.... being a good mom and educator, as well as being true to myself... however fine that line may be.

To begin with, here is my Fall 2011 Bucketlist:
Join me as I go picture crazy while I cross these items off my list, and experience life along the way. Are you as excited to see me in that oh-so-attractive skydiving jumpsuit? Or are you the nosy type that wants to scope out the progress on me dealing with a mortgage and decorating our first real home on a teacher's salary? Either way, I hope you follow up and leave some commenting love. And for those returning, thank you and welcome back! You've been missed!! <3