Monday, June 11, 2012

A Different Choice: Part One

As a young single mom, I have been through quite a bit of choices and have consequently experienced a large realm of trials and blessings. I made the choice to raise a child alone, without the option of adoption or abortion (the latter of which I hardly considered... just not my style). I made the choice to not go after child support and to raise Caydon with my own yearning for stability. I have had sleepless days, and days where diapers and food were a struggle. I've spent weeks in the hospital, gone through the stress of not knowing what is wrong with my child, and have been through several diagnoses. I tell you this not to ask for pitty, but to tell you how blessed we are now. I have graduated from college and have found myself in a career that is admirable, secure, and great for our two person family. I have proudly hit the first step in Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover (where you get a decent amount of emergency money saved up). I have made a house turn into a home. I have guided my child through those life changing diagnoses and helped him turn them around. We have been blessed in so many ways; it's nothing less than a miracle.

Which is what leads us to our next chapter in our life.

Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy.
Psalms 68:5-6

This was one of many Bible verses that helped us through our darkest moments. God has fathered, provided, defended, healed, forgiven, loved... Caydon and I in every corner of our life. He has made our empty, fatherless house turn into a home that He dwells in. One where His presence fills any gaps and turns around fatherless kids statistics such as how they are:

  • 4.6 times more likely to commit suicide,
  • 6.6 times to become teenaged mothers (if they are girls, of course),
  • 24.3 times more likely to run away,
  • 15.3 times more likely to have behavioral disorders,
  • 6.3 times more likely to be in a state-operated institutions,
  • 10.8 times more likely to commit rape,
  • 6.6 times more likely to drop out of school,
  • 15.3 times more likely to end up in prison while a teenager.
  • With knowledge of these statistics, I used to seek a father figure for Caydon rather consistently. I will not lie that I almost married because of what I felt were Caydon's needs. However, I have found that those guys were still not a perfect father and that marrying them wouldn't fill gaps. ONLY God is able to fill gaps. Does this mean that I don't ever want to get married? Does this mean I don't want Caydon to ever have a male to refer to as his father? Saying I don't want these things would be a lie, but God has filled our gaps so well that we are content with our circumstances and are able to be patient with His timing. 

    I've been praying a lot about it, and I honestly feel that God wants me to focus on the youth of our generation via Caydon, teaching, volunteering in the children's ministry at church, and by foster parenting. 

    And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.
    Matthew 18:5
    I truly feel that God has blessed my life so much because of my need to be able to help those around me. I hope I'm communicating this effectively and that I'm not trying to say that our life is perfect or snobby by any means. We are far from that. Yet, we have a roof over our head, a kitchen full of food, a car that works, a steady income, and a whole lot of love in our hearts. Considering where others who wear the shoes we have worn are, it feels so merciless to not help them out. There are kids that have never been tucked into bed at night, never been read a story to, never had a full meal, and never heard the simple phrase "I love you."  I honestly feel that it is everyone who has been blessed with the above's job to help those who are less fortunate out. Obviously, that is a brave and seemingly impossible statement, but I am confident that it is one that our world needs to hear. I also should state that I don't believe that this love should be mandatory, expected, or government issued.
     I think it should be given from our heart with the genuine interest of showing others love. 

    Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.
    Isaiah 1:17
    I should take the time to say "thank you" to those of you who have helped me, or both of us, out in our times of need. From putting a roof over our head, buying us a meal, visiting us in the hospital, providing Caydon with shoes, diapers, a warm jacket, a car seat, or babysitting Caydon so that I could go to school or work... the list goes on. It's because of the people that I have been blessed by that I choose to pass on this blessing. One child at a time (and ideally more, if that option becomes available to Caydon and I), we are going to be putting roofs over a child's head, providing meals and medical care, clothing, diapering, tucking in, and loving. I believe this will be a simultaneous blessing for the families we help, myself, and Caydon. 

    Please keep us in your prayers as we embark back into this process. 
    I am planning on doing a Q&A Part Two continuation of this post, so please be sure to ask whatever question you have and stay tuned. :)

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