If I Ever...

If I ever were to get a tattoo, I'd get something that had to do with a life changing event. I always admire people that put a deceased family member on their arm or ankle... wherever they see fit. While I'm not so big on tattoos EVERYWHERE, I don't mind a few. I've always been a major chicken, though. I mean, huge. The whole "growing old with it" thing just freaks me out. I love the idea of growing old with my soul mate (wherever you may be!) but growing old with my... skin??!.... freaky. However, if I, personally, were to get a tattoo, I'd probably want something that has to do with my faith, autism, and.. of course.. my little guy.

Which leads me to what I've been pondering lately. This little number:

It means Faith (cross), Hope (anchor), Love (heart). In case you aren't sure. I'm not so sure about incorporating Cay (DOB??), but the phrase so happens to be what I have driven on my car for the past  5 years... pretty much all of Caydon's life. Which brings me to my story of my car. Pooooooey....

If I EVER were to be in another car accident, I'd like to be in one like I just was in. We were ALL ok... and I didn't even have to deal with the "oh, my neck" lines from the person I hit. Did I mention I was totally at fault? I was. Did I mention that they completely let me go... without so much as getting any information? They did. Crazy? I think so. BUT, I am not going to fight it. I actually tried to (I would) doing the whole "but... what if you find a leak when you get home?!" and "what if you decide that big cave I just made in your trunk won't be your favorite thing in a few days!?"   Obviously, I'm not so used to people being nice for no reason. We do live in 2012, after all. ((OH, and a few people said that maybe they weren't insured/registered. Explain the madness. But, they were...))  They go to my church, and gave me a hug with a "your car looks a lot worse than ours..." excuse. I'm trying to be content with that. ;)

See, the thing is... on that Sunday I confirmed with a member of our church the day that I am getting baptized. March 4th. I always, always wanted my hubby to be baptized at the same time as me. A hopeless romantic, I totally am. However, I've come to realize that it's time to live the life God intended for me without this trying to wait for a hole to be filled... or try to fill it myself. I've been praying hard for God to fill the hole I have with patience, and contentment that I know I absolutely can get from His love. You single mommy readers know the hole... the one that I occasionally have when nights get lonely as a single mom. Or, the hole that randomly appears when I have to weed my backyard all. by. myself. like I did attempted to do, but gave up on, this last Sunday.  I've been praying for a fullfillment to come from God. Really, I have. Now, granted, if God wanted me to get married someday soon, would I mind? Let alone fight it? Absolutely not. However, I'm not going to push things. Rush things. Attach to things. Things, or idiot guys that I seem to find easier than I wish I could. (Where the good guys are is an answer I will gladly share when I know!)   I want a hope and fullfillment that I can find in Christ, because deep down I know that He loves me more than any husband possibly could. So, no more waiting for my hubby to be either the one dunking me, or the one getting dunked with me. It's happening, folks. Truly. This lady here is getting baptized and putting her life 100% for God. And, I couldn't be more excited.

Ok. Back to the car. Based off of this "spiritual high," I was kind of not paying as much attention as I should have. Ok, I was on the phone. I can't would rather not lie... I was hanging up a message with my grandparents on their answering machine telling them to mark their calendars. Which reminds me, I was never able to call my other set of grandparents. I need to get on that! I was a bit distracted when the jeep in front of me stopped suddenly by a red light runner. My reaction time was too slow. My car is huuurrt. It appears (by my own car guy's visual inspection,) that I will need a new hood, bumper, "grill" (the criss-cross part of my car where the toyota label sits.. whatever that may be called,) new lights, new wiring, and a new side of the car. Not to mention what may be wrong with the engine once we get to it. Read: Totaled.

On a totally randomly good note, I get to drive this little baby (with only 4,000 miles... read: new car smell. MMMM..) all over town:

I love it so much, I want to buy this bad boy. I've always wanted  more of a "mom car," but I'm really willing to splurg "settle" for this little bad boy. I guess time will tell. Money would help, though. Truly.


So, there you have it. A story about my ache for a husband contentment with my life, my need for a new car, and my excitement about baptism. Think of me this Sunday when I get dunked! :)